Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize