Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
