The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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