I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
