K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
