forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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