I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
