At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
