All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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