What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
