I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
