Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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