My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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