I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
