So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
