so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
