I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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