somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
