Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
