Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
