he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
