whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
