i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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