I need help removing her.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
