There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
