It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
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I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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