My girlfriend figured out who you are.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
is that a dick in a sweater?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
