he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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