I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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