hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
