I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
My bed smells like the plague
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize