We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
