guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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