We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
