Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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