she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He better not be in your backpack
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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