I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
