thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
