Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Randomize
