Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
