Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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