Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
