Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
