I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Randomize