Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
