so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
