It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
