she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
