if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Randomize
