marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
