this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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