dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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