She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
