Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
