he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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