so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
