So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
