I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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