3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I know her cup size but not her name....
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
