You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
