I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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