He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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