My room smells like vodka and shame
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
