He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize