Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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