he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
