Sry I called you an 8
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Randomize
