You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
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