Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
