Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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