oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
