No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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