i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
