My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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