This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
