my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
