Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
